So you think I'm a hoe? You think I'd just lie down with anyone? Well, I'm not like you. Yeah, some punk ass motherfucker got lucky because I was horny. They didn't deserve me but I didn't know it then. I just wanted someone to love me; but it wasn't real love.

I wanted him to beat me. I needed to feel a different kind of pain. It lasted for hours. I told him not to stop; I perceived love as something painful. He urinated in my mouth and dragged me in the street. It wasn't real love but the only way I knew how to love.

He didn't want to kiss me down there. He said it was the smell or something about the way it looked. I can't remember. We only watched TV and talked about movies. He laughed when they called me stupid. It wasn't real love but the way I wanted to be loved.