One ticket for Heaven please!

As humans we often torture our minds, hearts, and souls. I've plotted a million different ways to commit suicide but could never bring myself to go through with it. Is it because I love myself too much? Or maybe I'm afraid of where I might end up when I die?

I never imagined life could be so difficult. There's no one waiting with all the answers. What's even more frustrating is trying to find the answers within yourself. Is it really supposed to be this complicated? I wish I knew.

One would think it should come easier with age. The older you get the more you know; but getting older is about doing the right thing with what you know and making the right decisions.

So every decision I make will affect me for the rest of my life? Well, that's just too much pressure. I'd rather torture myself, and I do.

And I'm losing myself in the process......

If only I could talk to them, and tell them how I feel. I never meant for things to end up this way. She beat me, and tortured me in the most unimaginable ways but I loved her.


I can't see anything. There's no heaven, stars, or big white angels to come take me away. Just the darkness of my eyes and the bottom of the ground is all I see. Wait, something is happening. My body feels heavy. My muscles are tightening and my skin is shrinking. Oh no! What is this!


I notice her. The one who did this to me.

I can see my limp body lying in the coffin. I can hear them talking about saying how it was for my own good and I got what I deserved.

I feel cold. Then She came to me. How was she able to feel and touch me as I was and others were not.

She said that she felt lost without me.

"Without you, No one will ever really know who I am."

"Some people don't believe in you but everyone needs someone like you."

"Most people can't see you although they know you're there."

.

"Most people take you for granted because they feel they can get along just fine without you."

"I want my soul back."

Evil- force for nonsensical destruction
Evil has no real power on earth. I believe this because of it's absence in nature. It can't strike you down, it can't blow up your workplace, it can't instantly make you sick. It's only salvation is in it's ability to manipulate us ,through trickery, into destroying ourselves.

To take back our minds is to elimate evil??

EYES ARE ON THE FRONT OF OUR HEADS FOR A REASON??

She could only see forward.
She never looked back.

Whatever happened before instantly became the forgotten past.

She could remember facts and things
, but never happenings.

Every second she was reborn not losing experience.
She never knew regret or felt the need for vengeance.

She could fall and forget the pain, with a footing lesson gained.
She could be touched by love
and when it's imprint was gone be unstained.

She left rememberers, those grudge holders, those past revelers, those who numb their present and torture their future with gritty regret, in her wake.

She walked toward light and danced in the night.

Then lay down to sleep with thoughts dressed by Angels.

Slept with unpressing dreams.