Sexual desire is not only an adult disease

I just watched this movie that dealt with the real as far as early sexual discovery. It was about a thirteen year old girl discovering sexual feelings and desires without education or council. It got me thinking about my own early experiences with SEX. I had sex at a very young age before kindergarten I had had sex with as many boys as I had fingers on one hand. They ranged from a few years older than me to one a year younger. I had no idea what we were doing. To me it was no different than our fun adventures roving the neighborhood causing mischief together, riding bikes or throwing rocks at the street lamps. It was fun, and it felt good. I probably liked the attention too. The excitement that I stirred in these boys. Yeah... I believe that it all began a little earlier. I'd get pleasurable sensations suddenly, I wouldn't ignore them I'd investigate their origins.This led to sitting on a stool rubbing myself against it's edge. My mother asked me what I was doing and I very innocently or ignorantly told her that I didn't know. She asked me why I was doing it, and I very honestly answered "Because it feels good". That's the end of that vivid memory. It doesn't seem right though that it should end like that. It seems like something else needed to be said. Why didn't my mother explain to me what was going on? Did I scare her? I don't blame her for that though, and I'll give it to her she always kept check on whether anybody was fucking with me. She'd ask "Did anybody touch you?", while she was bathing me. As ignorant or innocent or both as I was I would always interpreted the question as "Did anyone touch you without your permission." I'd tell the truth "no". And think to myself "they'd better not, because my mommy will be asking". A vivid memory of my post infant sexual exploits comes now to mind. I was in a towel after a bath and an older male cousin of mine laid me down and opened my towel he played doctor with me. When I experience the memory it feels so playful and not wrong. But when I look back from now I realize, hey, I was molested a little bit, WOW. Every girl every woman I've dated has been molested and it seems that those experiences have affected them negatively somehow. It makes me wonder if my early exposure to sex has affected me negatively somehow. Could it have something to do with the guilt I experience after sex or masturbation? Could it have something to do with my lesbianism? Probably not. Because all the stuff I did early on was consensual, I was aware of myself carnally, and no, I don't think, I know that I was. While there were times when I said no, like when the guys wanted me to come out to play hide-and-go-get-it. There were times when I said yes. Like the time a boy I really wasn't attracted to wanted to rub my vagina on the story time carpet. And then there was the time I wanted to play this kid's Nintendo Game. He said he'd leave my house with his game if I didn't let him finger me. So I said hey it's nothing new why not. Thinking back it's funny how, the ones who did get somewhere with me never talked, but the ones who got nowheres always did. There's actually a little bit of alot more regarding my sexual experiences before puberty. And you know what, come a little closer so that no one else will hear... "I'm glad that it happened that way." I said "I'm glad that it happened that way!" I dispelled my curiosities about sex very early on. I was masturbating in class in elementary school. By then I'd discovered what I liked and how to satisfy this body on my own; precocious indeed. I feel like I'd been immunized for promiscuity. I was way ahead of that teen pregnancy bullet. In my relations with admiring boys I always held the upper hand because I didn't have those mysterious tingling feelings that give boys power over young girls. I didn't need to go through that trial and error experience in my teens, I'd been there, done that, and found that I preferred satisfying myself, and later on found that I also liked attempting to satisfy women.
Was my innocence stolen; was it not well protected? It was not stolen. I was educated the best way that my mind can be educated, through experience. Innocence is not ignorance. That's my self consensus, until I have a daughter.